real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
one might say we're banned from that church
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
