you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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