ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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