Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
