he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
