Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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