this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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