Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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