dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
