My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
