Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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