Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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