so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
