What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My ATM looks so different sober.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
