on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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