So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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