I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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