I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
