the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
