1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
