Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
