reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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