WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
