I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
