OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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