You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Farmville is her only friend.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
