He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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