Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
