Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
