I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Enjoy the penises
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
