The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
