Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
