i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
