I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
