they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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