Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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