I could make wine with my vomit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize