When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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