Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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