therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize