If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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