i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
