We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
