I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
