I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
