that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
