it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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