direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize