you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
