That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was born a porn star she said
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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