You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
