You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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