Princesses don't give blow jobs
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
