Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize