We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
