I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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