i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
