I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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