he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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